They tell us it’s coming home. 

Every two years, like clockwork, the bunting goes up, the supermarkets run out of lukewarm lager, and a collective delusion sweeps the nation. And every two years, we act utterly stunned when a group of multi-millionaires lose a penalty shootout to a country we couldn't find on a map.

Why do we do it to ourselves?

This book is a thoroughly miserable, match-by-match autopsy of every single qualification failure, group-stage collapse, and red-card meltdown the England national football team has inflicted upon us since 1966. No golden generations. No moral victories. Just tactical disasters, metatarsal obsessions, and the crushing realization that the only thing worse than England getting knocked out is the three weeks of agonizing hope that preceded it.

If you enjoy false optimism, please look elsewhere. This is a support group in book form for anyone who realizes that 'Three Lions' isn't an anthem - it’s a warning label.