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James Klonowski

A freelance comedy screenwriter and author living a Straight Edge lifestyle in the English countryside one overpriced latte at a time.

Latest Work

Explore a featured selection of my newest work below

Childrens Book Teaser •

The Worries Of My Life

Conner Sampson is a ten-year-old with a wild imagination and a trusty "What If" notebook, where he plans for every possible disaster—from house fires to zombie apocalypses. But when his dad's drunken cooking sets their house ablaze, Conner's worst fears come true, forcing his family into a rundown apartment filled with spiders, rude graffiti, and chaos. As Conner navigates sibling squabbles, his mum's headaches, and his dad's struggles with alcohol, he learns that life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright hilarious. With the Y2K bug looming, Conner's over-the-top preparations lead to unexpected consequences, but his quirky outlook might just be what his family needs to survive their everyday disasters. A heartwarming and humorous tale of family, resilience, and the power of imagination.
Book Chapter Sample •

The House Sitter Chapter One

I thought I was just getting a job. I didn’t realise I was getting a prison sentence.

The moment I drove up the winding driveway of the Rossiter estate, I thought my luck had finally turned. It’s magnificent. Towering marble columns, manicured gardens, and enough rooms to get lost in. The wealthy family offering the position seem absolutely perfect. They smile warmly. They offer me tea. They tell me the job is simple: just watch the house while they’re away.

It feels too good to be true.

And in a house like this, it usually is.

Because behind their flawless manners, I can tell something is deeply wrong. Mrs. Rossiter watches me just a little too closely. Her daughter's friendly questions feel less like small talk and more like an interrogation. And then there are the secrets. So many secrets.

Suddenly, I’m not just an applicant anymore. I’m a pawn in a twisted psychological game. Someone is lying to me. Or maybe everyone is.

I came here looking for a fresh start. But if I don't uncover the dark secrets hidden behind these gilded walls soon, I might never leave.

An absolute page-turner packed with jaw-dropping twists!

If you loved The Housemaid, you will devour this dark, addictive psychological thriller from the very first page.